II. HORRIFYING HERO.
and then there was darkness.
betsy's presence in her mind alone had been enough to throw her into a spiral of confusion. nothing made sense, ava herself wasn't convinced that any of this was real. she had never experienced anything of the like before, not that she could recall. now, she was trapped with another consciousness that was not her own. was this the beginning of a dissociative identity disorder? it couldn't be. she was able to fight this presence, communicate with it. the fighting had lulled, the pain in her head enough to give way to betsy. that's what she called herself. one of the things she called herself. whatever she was, ava was not too keen on sharing a head, let alone a body, with her. the emotions were mixed, a combination of ava's and betsy's intertwining together. at some point, ava wasn't entirely certain what was meant to be her and what was meant to be this other presence.
but all had given way to the darkness when she felt that thing, the one she had called a parasite. she felt his fingers gripping her mind, searching for her fears and pulling them out. her brother, disappointed in her. disappointed in her choices. she should have been ashamed of herself for the things she was doing. she could still hear his words echoing through her mind, taunting her.
"it's not him. do not listen. he will feast on your fears until there is nothing left of you."
the words were meant to be comfort, they were useless. between her brother's taunts and betsy, ava had lost complete control. she felt weak and powerless, she felt like a small child sitting in the backseat without a voice or opinion. she just wanted to scream, to fight. she wanted to wake up at home, she wanted to realise that this was nothing but another bad dream. it wasn't.
"fight. you must fight.
"father would be ashamed of you, ava. he never really liked you, did he? no, not much. i'm starting to see why. you're selfish." her brother continued to speak as he stood before her, arms crossed over his chest. there was a sneer on his face, a look of disgust as he watched her. "you bring nothing but dishonour to our family. it's all you've ever done." he was right. her parents had been proud, there was been expectations from their children, and ava had met none of those expectations. she looked away, glancing into the darkness as he continued to speak. she could feel the ache in her chest. her brother had never judged her, he had always loved her no matter her mistakes but this was different. she knew the day would come when he would see her for who she was, and not the person she attempted to be. "you disgust me, ava."
"enough."
but betsy was just as powerless as ava. she had been here before, tortured by the shadow king. she knew his tricks. he had been trapped within her mind, his very own prison to keep the world safe from him. even that had failed, and he knew it. he could smell it. she tried to protect her mind, to protect this body, but she had failed. without her telepathy, without her mutation, she was nothing. but betsy had never known when to give up. better to divert his attention. protect ava. because that was one thing betsy was good at, one thing she had always been able to do. she protected. she could feel the shadow king's cold grip, she had the parasite's attention.
"child murderer. have you told your new friends, princess?" the voice was a whisper, eyes shut as she tried her best to resist him. she lacked any and all telepathic protection that had been built up over the years. he would see her shame, her guilt, the uncertainty that was more so present now than it had ever been. he would use it against her, turn her inside out with uncertainty. but she could take it, she was strong, wasn't she? there was that uncertainty rearing up its head.
child murderer.
the words had never rung so true.
"please make it stop. please."
betsy's presence in her mind alone had been enough to throw her into a spiral of confusion. nothing made sense, ava herself wasn't convinced that any of this was real. she had never experienced anything of the like before, not that she could recall. now, she was trapped with another consciousness that was not her own. was this the beginning of a dissociative identity disorder? it couldn't be. she was able to fight this presence, communicate with it. the fighting had lulled, the pain in her head enough to give way to betsy. that's what she called herself. one of the things she called herself. whatever she was, ava was not too keen on sharing a head, let alone a body, with her. the emotions were mixed, a combination of ava's and betsy's intertwining together. at some point, ava wasn't entirely certain what was meant to be her and what was meant to be this other presence.
but all had given way to the darkness when she felt that thing, the one she had called a parasite. she felt his fingers gripping her mind, searching for her fears and pulling them out. her brother, disappointed in her. disappointed in her choices. she should have been ashamed of herself for the things she was doing. she could still hear his words echoing through her mind, taunting her.
"it's not him. do not listen. he will feast on your fears until there is nothing left of you."
the words were meant to be comfort, they were useless. between her brother's taunts and betsy, ava had lost complete control. she felt weak and powerless, she felt like a small child sitting in the backseat without a voice or opinion. she just wanted to scream, to fight. she wanted to wake up at home, she wanted to realise that this was nothing but another bad dream. it wasn't.
"fight. you must fight.
"father would be ashamed of you, ava. he never really liked you, did he? no, not much. i'm starting to see why. you're selfish." her brother continued to speak as he stood before her, arms crossed over his chest. there was a sneer on his face, a look of disgust as he watched her. "you bring nothing but dishonour to our family. it's all you've ever done." he was right. her parents had been proud, there was been expectations from their children, and ava had met none of those expectations. she looked away, glancing into the darkness as he continued to speak. she could feel the ache in her chest. her brother had never judged her, he had always loved her no matter her mistakes but this was different. she knew the day would come when he would see her for who she was, and not the person she attempted to be. "you disgust me, ava."
"enough."
but betsy was just as powerless as ava. she had been here before, tortured by the shadow king. she knew his tricks. he had been trapped within her mind, his very own prison to keep the world safe from him. even that had failed, and he knew it. he could smell it. she tried to protect her mind, to protect this body, but she had failed. without her telepathy, without her mutation, she was nothing. but betsy had never known when to give up. better to divert his attention. protect ava. because that was one thing betsy was good at, one thing she had always been able to do. she protected. she could feel the shadow king's cold grip, she had the parasite's attention.
"child murderer. have you told your new friends, princess?" the voice was a whisper, eyes shut as she tried her best to resist him. she lacked any and all telepathic protection that had been built up over the years. he would see her shame, her guilt, the uncertainty that was more so present now than it had ever been. he would use it against her, turn her inside out with uncertainty. but she could take it, she was strong, wasn't she? there was that uncertainty rearing up its head.
child murderer.
the words had never rung so true.
"i aided in the assassination of a child, brian. we did it to ensure that he wouldn't grow to become the monster apocalypse... we are desperate, brian. alone. nearly extinct. we are forced to... compromise, least we be eradicated."the shadow king knew, he knew her secrets. he knew that she had killed and enjoyed it, and he would use it against her. "now, now, elizabeth. what sort of hero kills for fun? it's starting to look like we're not so different after all."
the confession had come out over tea as betsy's eyes meant brian's own. she could see the pain in his eyes, the instant judgement. it was a quick flash, enough to send a sharp pang of pain through her system. she knew that he would forgive her, just as he always did. he would understand. elizabeth had never been a villain, she had always done the necessary things in order to ensure the protection and survival of her loved ones. her amethyst gaze met brian's own piercing blue one as the twins watched each other. there had always been an understanding between the two of them. despite the fact that she had cut off their psychic link to protect him from the things she had to do, he was still there for her.
"you once believed that xavier's dreams were worth dying for." he finally broke the silence, after taking a drink of tea. there was no relief from her as she thought over his words. once, long ago, she had believed in xavier's dreams. long ago when her friends were alive and she had something to live for. now, all that was left was violence and revenge.
"the dream was much easier when my friends were all alive. when we lived in a school opposed to a protective reservation awaiting extinction. no, these are different times for mutants. i don't need the ethics lesson. i'll deal with the morality... just tell me you understand." it was all she wanted, she just needed him to understand. she needed someone to understand her and to accept her for who she was, for the things she had done. her answer came, softly spoken words as she continued to watch her twin. once upon a time, they had looked similar. she wondered if he still recognised her.
"i cannot absolve you of this, nor can i condone it... but i do understand. and, no matter what, i will always love you unconditionally." he finished his tea, reaching out to set his hand upon elizabeth's own. those words were all that she needed, they were the strength she needed to continue her mission. the path she had taken was a sombre one, but brian had given her the will to fight and the will to do what she had to do.
every fight, every death, weighed heavily on her. not one face had been forgotten, one cry, and one plea to live. she remembered them all. it was a dangerous path she had taken, not only for herself and her team, but what she was sacrificing: her humanity. "thank you, brian. you have no idea how much it means." and just like that, the danger room simulation was over.
"please make it stop. please."